Catch as Catch Can
by Demus
Summary: The Fullmetal Alchemist was in hot pursuit of his quarry. Considering his quarry was the Flame Alchemist, Hawkeye was genuinely surprised that every single building in the headquarters was still standing.


Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist

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The Fullmetal Alchemist was in hot pursuit of his quarry. Considering his quarry was the Flame Alchemist, Hawkeye was genuinely surprised that every single building in the headquarters was still standing.

The two alchemists, however, had still managed to leave a trail of chaotic destruction in their wake. Desks and chairs were overturned left right and centre, curtains were ripped from their hangings, filing cabinets lay forlorn on their sides, spilling their vital organs of monotonous routine paperwork to the floor. Everywhere, confused soldiers were helping their fallen comrades to their feet, wondering at the bizarre indoor-hurricane that had rampaged past them, or were otherwise pressed up against the walls in an effort to avoid said rampage. Luckily, even in the midst of the madcap chase, the Colonel seemed to have restrained himself from protecting his person with his alchemy, for which the Lieutenant was grateful. There was only so much explaining away Mustang could do, even with his astonishing levels of charisma.

Still, whatever Roy had said/done/implied, it had been something very serious. Edward could usually limit himself to screaming obscenities and attacking the office furniture. Physical assault was a new one.

As she mused, Hawkeye caught sight of her superior officer rounding the corner towards her. He was running flat out, with a level of speed and agility that not many would have credited him with. There was a huge grin on his face, and he didn't look to be out of breath in the slightest. The long tails of his uniform streamed out behind him, and he granted her a swift wave as he sped past.

Barely three seconds later, the Fullmetal Alchemist slammed into the wall ahead of her, obviously having misjudged the bend, then peeled his face from the plaster and launched himself back into the hunt. He looked _furious_. Hawkeye merely stood aside for him, recognising a battle that she definitely shouldn't involve herself in.

That, of course, didn't mean she couldn't watch.

She turned to follow the combatants, winding her way through row upon row of dull, repetitive military corridors until she could hear the violent crashes, bangs and shrieks of the pursuit. Quite a crowd had gathered in the mess hall, where Roy was making best use of the cafeteria tables to keep some distance between himself and his enraged subordinate. Edward was snarling continuously now, threatening some sort of bloody revenge, no doubt. The onlookers neither cheered nor jeered, enthralled, as they were, by the spectacle of two highly respected and considerably famous State Alchemists chasing each other around like errant schoolboys.

She was hard-pressed not to laugh.

From across the room, Alphonse waved cheerily at her, his huge armoured body towering over the other occupants of the hall. Even without facial expressions, it was easy to tell hat he was as amused as everybody else.

It obviously hadn't occurred to either hunter or quarry to use alchemy to aid their disparate purpose. Hawkeye allowed herself a mental eyeroll as Roy completed another circuit of the dining hall unscathed. How, exactly, had men managed to claim the position of dominant gender?

It was then, several minutes into the canteen-bound chase, that the inevitable happened. Roy Mustang, his cheeks bright red with effort, panting now, his mouth lolling open in a puppylike quest for more air, tripped spectacularly over his own feet, flailed in a desperate attempt to remain upright, and landed on his face with a crash that had the entire room wincing in sympathy. He groaned in pain as he rolled over onto his back, his hands clasped to his throbbing nose, and bemoaned his horrific fate as a shadow covered him. He squinted up into the smirking face of the Fullmetal Alchemist, who kneeled down next to him with slow, dangerous deliberation and slammed a hand onto his chest.

There was a moment of silence. It was so tense that Al's armour was creaking audibly with nervous strain. Hawkeye's hand twitched involuntarily over her gun, then…

"TAG!" Ed yelled, in a gleeful bellow that startled the surrounding military personnel into an assortment of yelps and squeaks that were simply unfitting for the mighty defenders of the country. In a thrice, Ed had bounced to upright and was pelting his way back through the halls.

The Colonel gingerly clambered to his feet. His usual serene mask was impeccably in place as he surveyed the stunned crowd, his gloved hands tugging the cuffs and hems of his uniform straight. Several of the younger officers cowered, clearly expecting a snap and some sort of ferocious, flamey vengeance to descend upon the young alchemist. Once he was completely presentable, however, Roy merely paused to draw himself up, with admirable dignity and restraint, his mouth barely twitching at all…before he threw his head back with a joyous bark of laughter and, with a boyish whoop, gave chase.

Lieutenant Hawkeye shook her head, hiding a smile. It was going to be one of those days.


End file.
